Thinking Positive!

Tornado Of Thoughts!

I currently have a whirlwind of thoughts going through my mind. So many things to report and talk about but I don't know where to begin. Had you talked to me yesterday I would've been happy-go-lucky but today I'm feeling a little bit down. This roller coaster of emotions is sometimes too much to handle.

I've spent the morning working, thinking, contemplating and have come to the same decision I always come to. I am going to make the best of everything and do whatever it is I have to do to make my hopes and dreams come true. I can't let people get me down, I can't allow obstacles to take my eyes of the goal. All I want is a simple life with the man I love so dearly. I don't think that's too much to ask.

On That Note...


22 Days!

I get to hold the love of my life in my arms again. I can't even type that sentence without crying. I never, in a million years, could've imagined how insanely difficult this journey was going to be. It's truly a balancing act and even though financially this isn't a wise decision - my marriage, my sanity, my heart and soul... needs this visit. I miss Chad so much you wouldn't believe. And in just 22 days I get to see him again! Of course, it's only a weekend visit. He'll leave after work on Wednesday and return Sunday evening. But it's better than nothing. He sure as hell can't afford this time off, let alone more and I'm not willing to risk being denied entry into the USA - so it's our only option. It's going to be our last visit before I move down there so we need to make the most of it.

My hope now is that immigration goes smoothly. I'm nervous our application will get rejected/delayed or something else will go wrong but I need to think positive. If you've got positive vibes, please send them my way.

Immigration Update!

Not really much to report. We're still waiting! We did get notice that there's been some 'activity' on our file but we don't know what. It could be good, it could be bad, it could mean nothing at all. I'm still searching for a sponsor so continued good vibes are appreciated!

To those who read this - thanks for the support! It means a lot!

House For Sale

I've put my house up for sale! http://dartmouthhouse.webs.com/

I've had a few inquiries but it's been slow. It'll hit MLS in a couple weeks. Chad is going to help me fix some things up around here because I decided I am useless at home improvement. It's good to have a handy husband. Too bad he's a million miles away. But I'd definitely fly him up there than spend the money on some stranger to do the work. Besides, there's some other things that need fixin' that only a husband can do ;)

Valentine's Day Memories

I have always hated Valentine's. Not because I think there's anything 'wrong' with the holiday - just because I've always been single. Or, not important enough in a man's life to do anything special for me. Until this year! Chad hates this day. Seriously. He's the scrooge of Valentine's. But because he knew how much it meant to me, he went above and beyond to make me feel special and loved. Honestly, I spent the day crying. It meant so much to me...

So Chad - Thank you again... From the very bottom of my heart. I have never, in my life, felt so appreciated. I Love YOU so much. You make life worthwhile. I know lately the bumps in the road have been absolutely ridiculous. I wish there was more I could do to make things easier... but thank-you for being the man you are. For never giving up, for working your ass off to try and make a life for us together possible. I know it's not easy, God I know. But it will be worth it. If we both have to get a third job to make this work, we'll do it.

I Love You

His Love Letter

I had to save the best for last. That blue letter in the picture, is something Chad wrote for me. I've typed it up to share with you guys. I adore this man so much. His words fill my heart and soul...

"There were many times in my life where I have failed. Come up short, got distracted or lost my way. Took an easier path instead of a chance, or simply didn't finish what I had started.

There was a time, not so long ago, that YOU fell into that space, that void of wasted time, tears and years. I always wanted but never seemed to receive. I always wished but never truly believed.

My life was but a fool's prayer. I had a job, great kids but still an emptiness in my heart, my soul, my life.

I had all but given up on love, but yet something kept pushing me on, driving me toward a destination I knew nothing of.

As I sat here one night, listening to a voice, a familiar warm welcoming sound that laid upon my ears like the sweet notes from an angel's harp. It happened. That moment of clarity when I realized it was an angel... My angel. Right there waiting, watching, wanting, wishing, hoping, trying to believe. Happy - yet still empty. Just like me.

I knew then what it all meant and in that moment I stepped out of that past, took that chance - made that choice - even though I knew that road would take me up many mountains, that until now, I had simply avoided out of fear. The fear of falling failing, coming up short or just being too late.

But with a little help I found the courage to break free, to open the walls of my heart, releasing my soul, body and mind to allow acceptance into my world. That day, May 3, 2010, was the day YOU stepped from the past, separated yourself, became different. You became my future.

I am who I am because of my own choices. Now, I am who I am because of you. I AM COMPLETE."

Until Next Time,
Shan