Saturday, January 8, 2011

We're Hanging In There

Earth to Blog Readers, Earth to Blog Readers!

Anyone out there? I haven't written for awhile because I don't have much to say. I'm not going to lie. Things are really tough right now. Dealing with the distance is almost too much to bare sometimes and it's a constant struggle not to say "Fuck the law" and just go. Though I know I wouldn't even make it across the border. =(

There's so much to be done in between now and then and while everything is started, everything seems so far away from being done. It's hard. It's hard to focus on the good when what you want seems so incredibly far away.

But I won't give up. I may fuss and fight and cuss and throw my hands up in dispair. But I can't give up. Because waiting for me on the other side of the border is a man who I love more than I know what to do with. This WILL happen. As God as my witness, if it's the last thing I do - this will happen.

And yes, we still need a sponsor. I've asked the only person I knew who might've been in the financial position to help out and it doesn't look like they're able/interested. =( My fate lies in the hands of a stranger for now.

I wrote this stupid poem. For Chad.

I Miss You So Much.
But I have so much hope. And Yes - hope is a good thing.

One Step Closer
I wake up in the middle of night
Wishing you were by my side
I close my eyes oh so tight
Praying the loneliness will subside

The ache is sometimes just too much
The emptiness too much to bare
How I long for your loving touch
To brush away this deep despair

But then the sun rises with a new day born
And I hear your voice on the phone
I'm one step closer to where I belong
One step closer... to being home

Until Next Time
Shannon

3 comments:

Chad said...

awwwwwwe Baby that was so sweet I so much more than love you

Cari said...

that's tough shannon. i really hope it all works out for you guys soon. do you have to have a sponsor in order to go? it sounds so hard to get into the states! i would think that just being married to an american would be enough to at least live there? could you go and not work or is that not an option with immigration?

Shannon said...

Hey Cari,

You don't necessarily need one but with our circumstances, I want the security. I Just don't want anything going wrong...

Annddd... I'd have to find a job with an American company and they'd have to hire me and prove to the government that there are no qualified Americans to do the job. Unless you're highly skilled like a doctor, or something you're shit out of luck.

It's VERY difficult to get into the states. Unless of course you're off a boat or Mexican lol